Robin Hooding
by Bablefishmouse
Summary: Sequel to "Two Homeless Guys" About a month or so ago Steve Rogers rescued Loki from SHIELD (it made sense at the time). Now the two of them try to embark on their new plan to sing less, and to begin stealing from the rich to either give to the poor, or their poor selves, depending on who was talking. What they weren't planing on, was the owner of their warehouse coming back.
1. Chapter 1

"Rob from the rich, give to...our poor selves." Loki sang fingering a couple of jackets. Steven Grant Rogers rolled his eyes, testing the material of some trousers a few racks away.  
"Really?"  
Loki grinned, blue highlights dancing around his eyes. "What?" The frost giant liberated a black leather jacket from the rack, and pulled it over his ratty shirt. "What do you think?"  
Steve sighed; turning around to look at his, actually Steve didn't know how to quantify it anymore. Ally? Friend? Loki wasn't just the former anymore, but Steve didn't trust him remotely enough to call him the latter. "We're not just getting the stuff for ourselves you know."  
"Oh, I know!" Loki announced with a grin, walking over to check his appearance in a mirror. He winced, visibly pulling back slightly. Steve wasn't surprised. He didn't know how old Loki was, but he did know how long Loki had had to get used to his true form, and he hadn't spent a lot of that time around mirrors. Loki pulled back, and looked at himself properly.  
Steve came over, and, putting a hand on Loki's shoulder, said "The colour and material suit you. You'll need a better shirt though."  
Loki shrugged, "I'm not overly keen actually. Why don't you try it on?"  
Steve passed over the trousers he was holding. "Fine, we need to be quick though. While I'll give you that for a high end department store, this place has appalling security, the police will be on their way."  
"So we can't afford to linger too long. I know." Loki finished for him, then suddenly shut his mouth firmly jabbing his thumb towards the front doors, and then the fire exit. Steve nodded, understanding the signal.  
Loki picked up the trousers, grabbed a couple of other jackets, and began edging towards the fire exit. Steve shrugged the jacket over his shoulder, and grabbing a couple of larger sizes. There was no way anything that fit Loki was going to fit him.  
They rushed out of the fire exit, separating at the first bend. Steve ran, not flat out, but certainly at a minimum of 70%. By the time the police would notice where the intruders had left, they would both be far away.  
Steve stopped running after a few streets, in the end he would only be more conspicuous, and the posh shopping district, whatever they called in these days, was not exactly close to the warehouse. Still, it wasn't bad for a first trip into 'being Robin Hood', Steve thought. Not that he was overly happy about it, but the company had Civil Right violations as long as his arm, and it wasn't like they'd hurt anyone. The Robbing that was, not the Civil Rights violations. Those were hurting someone, and while that wasn't exactly the point, it kind of was...  
He consulted the jackets in the not so dim light of the advertisements, putting one of the bigger ones on, and zipping it up. Oh well, he thought as he headed back, maybe Loki would be sensible and go straight back to the warehouse. It was an amusing thought, he was just as lightly to agree that SHIELD had been right to order the extermination of those kids. Steve didn't care if they were trained by the Russian Intelligence, the oldest of them had been fourteen, and the youngest nine. There was no way he was ever, ever, going to agree with that order, or even regret his following actions, even given the consequences.  
There was no way Loki would avoid getting into trouble, the only actual question was would he handle it without killing anyone, or would he not.  
Chances are, due to a wish to keep a low profile, he wouldn't. The sort of Asguardian was more than capable of taking care of himself as long as he was well fed, and there weren't too many opponents. So when he decided to break into a store, he should be able to handle the guards without killing them.  
Steve unlocked the door to the warehouse. Loki had decided to pinch a large padlock a day or so previously,and it had come with a couple of keys. It wouldn't keep anyone determined out, but the lock did sort of signify that the warehouse was theirs. It also showed that Steve wished that Loki would stop stealing, but then after tonight that was a little hypocritical. It's not like they'd keep most of the stuff anyway.  
The padlock, or at least the subsequent claiming, also meant Steve felt like he could actually start to clean the warehouse out, at least when Loki was out. Steve got the distinct impression that if Steve tried to clean up while Loki was there he'd make some sort of comment about the pettiness of mortals, or lesser life forms.  
Steve did find it slightly depressing that his first home in five years was essentially squatting in an abandoned building, with one of the world's most wanted. Still, it wasn't part of his personality to focus on the negative aspects of life. The warehouse was, Steve admitted, a very good size. In fact, despite the old bits of loading machinery in it, it was larger than most people's homes. In fact Steve didn't even know the full layout of the warehouse, a fact which just occurred to him.  
Loki swaggered, for want of a better word, in at that moment, dressed in a long dark green frock coat. "This is much more my style, don't you think?"  
"Suits you like the summers day." Steve replied absent mindedly, not really looking up from where he was investigating.  
"So that would be ill then." Loki pointed out, "Or am I missing a joke here?" Steve didn't reply, disappearing around the side of one of the old rigs. "What are you doing?"  
"Did it occur to you, at some point, that we don't actually know the layout of this place." Steve explained distractedly, spotting a door at the far end of the warehouse, "I felt like exploring."  
Loki rolled his eyes "Have fun then, Dora the Explorer." He shrugged his coat off, hanging it off one of the bits of machinery.  
"What's that?" Steve asked after a moment, half ignoring him in favour of trying to get the door open without kicking it in.  
"No idea, heard a couple of kids talking about it last time we were in the park." Loki explained away, "What are you doing?"  
"Dancing the ca-can, what does it look like I'm doing?" Steve nearly added 'you moron' to the end, but stopped himself just in time.  
"No need to get snarky Captain, it was a mere enquiry. May I ask why you haven't picked the lock, or will I get my head bitten off, chewed and spat out again."  
"Nah, I'll swallow it." Steve muttered under his breath, and then sighed "Because unbelievably, I can't do everything."  
"What ho, something I can do in this state that you can't." Loki smirked. It looked decidedly sinister, particularly as it actually denoted a slightly self-deprecating amusement.  
"Loki, with all due respect, shut-up and come and pick this lock."  
"Touchy, touchy."  
Steve looked at him.  
Loki mirrored the look.  
Eventually, Steve conceded the staring contest, but largely because he actually wanted that door opened at some point this century. Sometimes working with Loki reminded Steve of working with a seven year old child. Sometimes Steve thought that working with a seven year old child would be easier.  
Loki picked the lock in about twenty seconds, leaving Steve feeling slightly anti-climactic. "What do you think, office, secret underground lair, SHIELD listening to every word we say?"  
Loki smiled slightly "The first or the last."  
Steve opened the door. It was an office, which was slightly disappointing, although not at all surprising. The office did, however, have an old desk, with a very dusty computer sitting on top of it. Steve blew heavily, sending the dust lying into Loki's eyes.  
"Hey," Loki objected.  
"Sorry," Steve half meant it, but was far more pre-occupied with the logo onto of the bulky PC. "Huh, Hammer Industries, from the way Tony talks this thing wouldn't start up when it was new. Certainly explains why it was left behind."  
"Hmm," Loki grunted non-committedly.  
Steve realised the tense he'd used "Sorry, I didn't…"  
"It's fine." Loki cut him off, really not wanting any more discussions on either of their pasts. "Do you want to turn it on?" He asked, sounding far more sarcastic than Steve had heard in a couple of days. It was kind of nice to see the return.  
"Well, I can try…" Steve was unconvinced "but even if this thing works, and that is a big if, I severely doubt that this place has mainline electricity."  
"So primitive." Loki sniffed. "Whatever happened to the arc reactors, or whatever they were called?"  
"Stark tech, and after this time by a few years, as far as I know anyway. I wasn't exactly around for most of this." Steve looked around for an on switch.  
"I know," Loki remarked with a mischievous smile.  
"Shut-up," Steve's words held no heat. He found the on switch and pressed it. To both of their surprise, the computer actually turned on. It didn't get very far before crashing and failing and crashing, but it did turn on. "Well that confirms one hypothesis, and tells us something else."  
"And what might that be?" Loki asked dryly.  
"It confirms that Hammer tech is rubbish, and it tells us that this place is either still connected to the main power grid, or it has its own generators." Steve said "Given that their using Hammer tech, I'd bet that their still connected to the national grid."  
"What does that mean?"  
"Well to start with, we can see if any of the lights work."  
They didn't, but a couple of spare bulbs Loki found in a supply cupboard did. The discovery of working electricity also allowed Steve to move some of the lifting rigs. Out of the three rigs, two were now pointed upright, almost like pillars, and the third formed a walkway to an upper balcony area above where the office was. The balcony area Steve and Loki were currently exploring.  
"Just another empty room here, that makes four of them, right?"  
"Five including this one and the office." Loki called through from an adjoining room. "Although, I think I can see the toilets."  
"Ah," Steve said with a grin, there was an extremely grimy disabled toilet off the main body of the warehouse they'd been using, but it was good to know that the unlockable cubicle wasn't their only option. "Any chance of showers?"  
"Indeed, there is indeed a probability of finding that mysterious item in the bathroom. As of yet I have not explored that place, so it is still in a state of flux. There are both showers, and no showers." Loki snarked.  
There was a long pause of silence as Steve tried to find the right phrasing. Eventually he blurted out "I'm not sure what you just said, but you sounded like Tony Stark." The surname was an afterthought. Steve wasn't sure why he still felt some connection to the inventor that he'd spent most of the time he'd known him sniping at, but there was some little thing that tugged at the back of his brain sometimes, just something…  
Maybe it was because in the end Tony had been so right on SHIELD that it hurt.  
"Steve?" Loki called through, "Steve!"  
Steve shook his head and looked at the man waving his hand in front of his face. "Sorry, did I zone out for a bit."  
"Yeah, you could say that. I've been trying to get your attention for the past few minutes." Loki shook his head, "What the hell happened?"  
"It's nothing…"  
"Shush!" Loki urged suddenly pulling Steve down. "Do you hear what I hear?" He continued almost under his breath, counting on the super-serum hearing picking it up.  
It did. Steve was hearing a lot more than just Loki's murmured question. There were footsteps, and shouting, and machinery. Someone was in the warehouse.


	2. Chapter 2

The footsteps were getting closer now, as Loki and Steve edged away from the windows. The room was completely empty, except for them. Steve could feel his heart beating, beating faster than it had in a long time and, just for a moment, he was back to being that scrawny guy in the alley. The same guy that had never stood a chance.

Loki gently put a hand on his shoulder. The frost giant was not a kind being, nor was he tactful or particularly merciful, but he was a survivalist. Right now, in order to survive, he needed Steven Rogers alive, well, and capable to fight.

The door nudged open. Fingers appeared through the crack. Then they stopped.

"Alf," A voice called from down on the factory floor. "The boss is coming."

"Just a mo." The guy, presumably Alf, called from just outside the room. "I'm just checking there's no-one here."

"Alf, no-one's going to be here. The padlock on the door was probably a holdover from the last owner of this dump." The voice called up, long suffering. "Now get down here before the boss does. He's just got out of prison you know."

Steve inhaled sharply as the fingers disappeared from view. Loki's grip on his shoulder relaxed fractionally. Steve swallowed the impulse to shrug it off. "We sit in here and we wait this out, move once they've left." he whispered, "Unless you've got a better idea?"

Loki shook his head. "Not until we know what this mysterious new owner was in prison for."

They had to play it safe, at least for now. It would be a shame to lose the warehouse, after all they'd just started being comfortable, but it was better than being caught, especially by less than saintly beings. Loki wasn't sure he could face captivity again, not after The Other. He'd barely held it together last time, and he'd been relatively sure SHIELD didn't have the guts to do anything, not without the paperwork first.

Loki shed his coat, which he'd grabbed earlier, and handed it to Steve, then he gestured towards the door. Steve nodded, as Loki crept out onto the balcony, looking out over the vast floor below. He didn't recognise any of the five men.

One of them, cocky, short and even more arrogant than Thor at his worst, stood in the centre and spoke: "Well, this is my humble abode. From this starting point I will go forward, from this starting point I will go on, and I will be great. I will conquer this world, and no-one will ever remember the name Iron Man, for they will love me so much that they will shower me with adorations and love me. I will build the greatest tech empire this world has ever seen, I shall be Alexander the Great, I will be the chief lion and intimidate all the other fish in the sea."

Apparently, Loki thought, short and arrogant was even worse than Thor at making speeches as well, especially as there was no-one to hear him. Seriously, even Fandral wasn't that bad. Usually.

Short and arrogant was still monologing "Those that dare to oppose me shall fear the Hammer as we, the hammer, dare to drown those who oppose us, and we shall rise again on the dawn of opportunity. We are migrant birds facing the new spring, who shall be the new emperors of old."

Yeah, right, Loki thought, that guy might be dangerous, but only because he was clearly mentally unstable. Or possibly because of the goons he had with him. Either way Loki doubted he could learn anything more from watching a carefully rehearsed shit speech be acted out. He crept back inside the room where Steve and he had hid.

"So now there's that guy." He copied a remark he'd once heard a long time ago.

Steve 'huhed' as if he recognised the comment, "Any idea who he is?"

Loki shook his head. "Unfortunately not, although he's loud, arrogant, and the worst speech maker that I've ever come across. Even Fandral knew not to mix his metaphors like that."

"Fandral?" Steve asked

"One of Thor's friends, did he never mention him?" Loki was curious, surely his 'big brother' had bragged about his glorious kills time and time again.

Steve thought for a moment "No, I don't think so, but he didn't talk a lot about his old life in my presence. He talked constantly of Jane, sure. Couldn't stop talking of Jane, and a fair bit of Darcy, and of Eric Selvig, but there was very little talk of Asgard. He may have guessed my personal distaste of the bragging of death, even of animals."

"Oh yes," Loki couldn't help but roll his eyes, "The perfect soldier, yet soft on little animals."

"Not the perfect soldier." Steve interjected "A good man."

Loki glared at him, which happened much less than it used to. Considering it used to be his default look, that wasn't saying much.

"A perfect soldier would not be in my position." Steve pointed out, if he followed orders blindly, he'd still be with SHIELD, "And a perfect soldier would not leave you alive."

"Are you threatening me?" Loki asked in a low growl.

"Like I said," Steve spread his arms wide then pointed to his chest as Dr Erskine had done so many years before. "Not a perfect soldier, but a good man." He grinned at the look on Loki's face which ranged somewhere between trying not to laugh, and about to embark on a mass murdering campaign. Eventually Loki shook his head.

"You, Steve Rogers, are evil." Loki declared.

"I'm going to choose to take that as a compliment." Steve declared grinning.

"I bet you are!" Loki rolled his eyes, but then smiled slightly.

There was a loud noise from outside the room and Steve and Loki froze. They'd completely forgotten they weren't alone in the warehouse. Loki made to creep out again but Steve shook his head throwing Loki's coat back at him. "I've been undercover before. And I might recognise the guy." He whispered shedding his own jacket. "Besides I'm just some guy, you're kind of distinctive."

With that Steve left, creeping out along the balcony to where he should be able to see the floor of the Warehouse below. A surprising sight met him.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the famous Antony Stark come to visit the little old me!" A short guy with dirty hair and a clear attitude problem declared, presumably Loki's 'short and arrogant'. Steve didn't recognise him, or the goons, but he recognised very clearly the two new entrants to the warehouse. What's more, if they looked up they'd recognise him.

Tony Stark stood as if on a pedestal, dressed immaculately in a, probably tailored, suit. Natasha Romanov stood next to him, dressed similarly, which was more unusual. "Justin Hammer." Tony sounded like he wanted to spit the name, but refrained with the barest civility. "You are one of the lowest life forms still left on this Earth. I hope you don't waste your short lived freedom, because let me tell you, I, and my friends, will be watching you."

"So if you don't want it to be a short life..." Natasha grinned, causing Steve's stomach to clench up on the balcony, while she looked Hammer straight in the eyes.

"Oh, Antony, all this fuss just for little old me." Short and Arrogant, who must be Justin Hammer, gestured to himself in mock innocence. He lent forwards to Natasha's face "Don't worry Dolly," He continued patronisingly "I'll have plenty of room for aging eye candy when I rule the world."

Natasha spat in his face. Steve had to stop himself from cheering, as the dribble ran down Justin Hammer's cheeks.

Natasha rolled he eyes "Don't worry," She spoke with an equally patronising tone "I'll leave you alone with your..." She paused for a moment letting her gaze roll around the warehouse. Just for a nanosecond her eyes collided with Steve's. He shook his head frantically, not even sure what he was saying, apart from don't say. Natasha turned back to Hammer "Empire." She finished with a grin, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she turned and walked out of the warehouse.

Tony Stark paused just long enough to add "While you've still got one." before following her out, oblivious to Steve's presence, fortunately.

Steve snuck back inside the room, his thoughts mainly running along the terribly indecent line of several swear words he hadn't even known that he knew. Loki looked up expectantly.

"If we hadn't had to move before, we do now." was the first thing Steve said.

"Problems?" Loki asked blandly.

"With a capito W." Steve added. Loki recognised that term.

"I didn't see her before?"

"You wouldn't have done, her arrival was that commotion, well she arrived with Tony Stark, but he's not the problem, nor is Justin Hammer, whose 'short and arrogant' by the way, the problem is," Steve paused pulling the leather jacket on "that Natasha spotted me, and she's Natasha, so she'll have recognised me, which means that if, and a big if, we're lucky, she'll turn up herself after dark, and probably interrogate me, she can't have worked out about you, apart from anything else you weren't there, but she might connect me to the guy braking you out, and then she'll know about you, so she'll probably tell SHIELD, so they'll come and arrest both of us, and then..."

"Steve." Loki cut off the blabbering "While it's an interesting discovery that you babble when scared, I get the point that we need to move as soon as we can."

"Okay," Steve nodded, taking a few deep breaths. "Do you want to go and watch when they're gone, and then we can get out of here and move somewhere else. If we're better dressed the Homeless shelters might take us."

"Steve," Loki pointed out "I'm blue. I think they might notice I'm not just cold."

Steve didn't know quite how to react to that. He left it a moment then added "Shush, you know, Hammer and stuff. Unless you're planning on selling me out and joining him."

"Nah," Loki scoffed, very quietly "I did promise that I wouldn't take over this world, and mother would never forgive me if I broke that. besides, he can't even make a speech, let alone actually succeed in anything ambitious."

Steve found it very telling that the main reason Loki wouldn't go back on his promise was that his mother would 'never forgive him' and that he only wasn't joining Hammer because he'd never win. It showed a sort of pragmatism which Steve admired, in its own way, but also the opportunism, which Steve didn't. The thing about his mother had two implications, one that that was just the Asgardian way, to live with and obey their parents or two, that (in terms of proportion of age span) Loki was a good deal younger than anyone had yet realised.

"How old are you?" Steve asked, curious.

"About 900 of your earth years, why?"

"Curious about something, how long do your... Asgardians live for, usually?"

"It can vary," Loki shrugged "It's usually around 5000 years, to die of Old age, my...Odin, is older than that, and many die younger in battles, although there haven't been any since I was of an age to remember."

"If you assume the average lifespan of a human is about a hundred years, to die of old age, 900 divided by 5000, is just under a fifth. So you're the equivalent of an eighteen or nineteen year old." Steve finished working out maths out loud. "Bloody hell, you're a teenager."

"I feel terrified at the thought." Loki shivered "it doesn't really work directly like that at all, we're not considered children since we were about 500, although I guess I was still in my more youthful age, having not reached my thousandth year yet. I'm probably closer to about early-mid-twenties, I'd guess."

"Thor's mid-twenties," Steve guessed, going on his behaviour, it had changed since his time sure, but not that much, after all, Steve was, well he was early-mid thirties by now, he'd kind of forgotten that, not that it really mattered. "Or was, it's kind of been a while since I've seen him."

"He's mid-twenties." A female voice announced behind him.

Ah, Shit.


End file.
